How to Build Resilience Through Difficult Situations

family and relationships mindset and goals personal development Apr 20, 2023

No matter our challenges there is one thing that we all share in common. If you are reading this post it means that you have that one thing. So before, worrying about what didn’t quite go well with you today, here is something to cheer about—Life.

Thank God for the gift of life. If you have been through a life-threatening situation, you will find it easy to value life. Since the onset of Covid-19, one of the things that we all were forced to appreciate is life. My respect goes out to those who lost their lives or loved ones in the process and to those who fought to save the lives of others. 

Being alive is the greatest gift of life. When there is life there is hope. Think of a time when you went through difficult times and count how many times, you overcame a problem that seemed overwhelmingly difficult at first. You will find that the problem did not break you, it made you stronger. If this is not the case for you, please continue to read on to see how this blog might be of help to you. 

What then is resilience? Cambridge Dictionary describes resilience "as the ability to be happysuccessful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened."  In other words, resilience is what you produce when you are cut up in a situation and you are still able to move forward no matter the circumstances. It is not the absence of challenges but that you choose not to dwell on them or let your circumstances define you. Instead, you allow yourself to go through the process that you stand to gain to pave the way for revealing the greatness in you and overcoming challenges.

 

How Can We Build Resilience?

From experience, I found there are two things that you can get from any situation. It is a revelation that I was privileged to gain after I went through the most difficult challenge of my life.  If you can see life through the two keys which I would be revealing in this blog, then you will never go through any situation feeling defeated. 

The First is 'Win' and 

The Second is 'Learn'.

You either win or you learn. Sound simple right? Yes, it is! 

Read on to see how these two simple words can change the way you see life. 

1. Winning

This is the most desired outcome you want in life right? Whilst, this is not a bad thing it can put pressure on you, and when you do not win it may lead to a feeling of guilt or low self-esteem. Nowadays, with the rise in social media, a lot of things we see people do is share their wins, and fewer of them share how they achieved their wins. If all you are experiencing are life struggles, then it's hard to make sense of those who are winning. Here is a caution for you, not everything you see in media is true. So, if you spend time watching people win, it can make you feel like you do not belong and this can really lead to frustration. 

But, my intention is to clarify the two and to help you gain a better understanding of winning and how to build resilience when faced with a difficult situation. Note this! You cannot win every situation. If all we do is win, then it will be difficult to understand how to build resilience when things don't go as planned. In simple, words, when things fail. 

When we do not meet our expectations or the expectation set by others in the case of an employee, a parent, a business owner, or a leader, we are often confronted with fear and disappointment which can be an intimidating experience. The feelings are bound to arise and it is part of the process of overcoming adversity. In my next blog, I will be discussing how to overcome fear and live the life of your dreams. But, for now, let us focus on today's topic which is 'Building Resilience through difficult situations.' There is a process to winning which is tied to my second key. 

 2. Learning

Have you heard of the saying life is the best teacher? This is the most interesting phase of life. If you do not win in a situation, then the other option is to learn from it.

I appreciate that sometimes we are inclined to choose to learn by experience this is not always the best approach. If you have to experience everything on your own with no guidance or support, it will take you so many years to get to overcome one battle or even to achieve anything. It is a complicated approach, time-consuming, and very expensive in the long run. I want to stress another cost aspect not just money, it can also cost a life. Take to wisdom instead which is profitable. Therefore, having your own experience is great but sometimes it can be a really difficult path to thread on. Why go through it alone when you can learn from others? If you have to go through it then there are valuable skills to develop which can eventually turn out to be a blessing.

I found that learning is more rewarding because of the opportunity to follow the process and to establish a system for future success which then becomes natural to achieve. Most of the time, we fail because of a lack of preparation. There is a process in life that we ought to follow.  You will be better equipped when you prepare beforehand and when you position yourself to learn.

Even in your family life, parenting, relationships, business, work, and personal interests, there is a process. So, if you haven’t succeeded in that life goal of yours, no cause for alarm count it all joy, there will be an opportunity to try again. It’s not going to be the end of the road for you but, a starting journey for a better future ahead. Look on the bright side! 

It’s now a matter of choice. Would you like to Rise or stay defeated? The first is a good option and the latter you should avoid.

Here are Five Steps to Building Resilience

  1. Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t be too hard on yourself, be kind! You are human and mistake is inevitable. So, take some time to appreciate your own efforts and reward your achievement. Learn how to pace yourself and give time to work according to your capacity at any given time. 
  2. Be Positive: A negative mindset is not going to get you anywhere. Find something positive in the situation. There is always something good that can come out of a bad situation. Look closely and ask yourself this question, is this a win-or-learn situation? 
  3. Note the Experience: This is where I agree experience is the best teacher. Never discard your experience it is valuable. Even in the workplace, there are companies that would rather work with someone who has diverse experience (both work and life experiences) than someone who doesn't.  In your family life, your experiences are valuable whether you deem them bad or good. 
  4. Take the Lessons: For example, if you have experienced a heartbreak you would be cautious of another one happening right? That is a natural response. But, when you don't see it this way it results to fear. Instead, take note of the things that led to the breakup (this should be a list of the good and bad to help you get a clearer picture), and prepare to learn from the areas in which you had a gap in knowledge. Because it is what you didn't know that failed you not what you know.  Seek Knowledge, for knowledge is power. Otherwise, you will find that it will happen over and over until you learn the life lessons. 
  5. Get help: No one knows it all. There is a reason why it did not work out at first. When you find out why, get help to address the situation and improve on your life experiences. 

I hope this blog has been useful to you. As an added value, I am offering you a FREE copy of my Ebook on How to Overcome Life Challenges. Download Your Copy of Recover For Life now.

If you would like to work with me directly to get clarity on your current situation, Discover your Purpose, and Rise from your challenges, schedule your (one-time bonus offer) 1-on-1 Purpose Call valued at £399 with me for FREE.